Has someone told you that you are are not qualified? If so, read on:
"Dear Paul the Apostle: We received your application for service under our missions board. Frankly we are amazed you have been able to pass a missionary. Here is why:
- We are told that you are afflicted with eye trouble. We require 20/20 vision.
- We hear that you have to make tents on the side to support yourself. How come?
- Is it true that you have a prison record? Think how this would reflect on our organization.
- It is reported from Ephesus that you made so much trouble for the local business community there, that they refer to you as the man who "turned the world upside down." We deplore sensationalism in ministry.
- You refer to yourself as "Paul, the aged." Our new pension policies do not anticipate a surplus of elderly recipients.
- Doctor Luke, the Physician, reports that you are a frail little man, frequently sick, and always so agitated over your churches that you sleep very poorly. He indicates that you pad around the house praying half the night. Our ideal applicant has a clear mind and a robust body. We believe that a good night's sleep will give you zest and zip so that you will wake up full of zing.
So, we regret to inform you, Brother Paul, that in all our experience we have never met a candidate so opposite to the requirements of our board. If we should accept you we would be breaking every principle of current missionary practice.
Signed, Most surely,
J. Flavius Fluffyhead
Foreign Missions Board."