Do not involve your children in your marital disputes. Solomon warned, "Anger rests in the bosom of fools" [Ecc 7:9]. Your children are easy target for your misdirected rage. Even when your emotional outbursts are not aimed toward them, they still suffer the effects. For example, your boss reprimands you at work, and because you cannot retaliate you come home like a bear with a headache and make everybody walk on eggshells. Even if that is what you experienced growing up - you are not a child anymore. Lower the decibel level! Do not let your anger run amok. David prayed, "Watch over...my lips. Let not my heart be drawn to...evil" [Ps 141:3 - 4]. And James says, "Submit...to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you" [Jas 4:7]. That is the only way you will ever change the steps in your family dance.
"Do not sin by letting anger control you." Ephesians 4:26
God does not deny us the right to our emotions, but He does hold us accountable for how we handle them. For example, it is never okay to abuse those He has entrusted to your care. Paul said, "Do not sin by letting anger control you...anger gives a foothold to the devil." Satan would like nothing better than to gain an entry point into your home, then turn it into a living hell. And every time you fly into a rage you lose ground to him. Hot words do not result in cool judgement. Solomon said, "A hot temper shows great foolishness" [Pro 14:29]. The key to managing your anger is in finding ways to express it so it does not end up in an explosion. It is okay to share your feelings, but you must do it the right way. Ultimately the issue is not about who is right or wrong, [or who can yell the loudest], it is about finding the answer that is best for everyone.
Nobody can be everything you want them to be, all the time. It is impossible to have a long-term, loving relationship without learning to accept human weakness. So instead of dwelling on one another's shortcomings, focus on your collective strength as a family. Clinical Psychologist Dr. Paul Pearsall says, "Most of us would give our lives for a family member. Yet too often we live our daily life as if we take out families for granted." Learn to control your temper; your family is worth it. After all, who else loves you regardless of what you do? And where else can you find the comfort that comes from such a support system?