“May…God…give you a spirit of unity.” Romans 15:5
3. We are not in love any more. Did you hear about the woman who ran a newspaper advert that said, “Husband wanted?” She got lots of responses, all saying the same thing: “You can have mine!” Seriously, if negativity and bitterness are eroding your marriage it is time to make some changes by:
· Remembering your history. Chances are you started out as good friends. So ask yourself how you would treat your best friend if you were having relationship issues. Not by being critical and defensive, right? What initially attracted you to one another anyhow? When did you fall in love? How did you act when things were good? Recall and rehearse your best moments.
· Keeping your thoughts focused on what God can do. Zero in on your mate’s best qualities, then start believing that God can turn your relationship around. Remember, you have more ability than you realize to change your perception of your partner. So concentrate on all the things in your marriage that are “of good report” Philippians 4:8.
· Building thoughtful behavior back into your relationship. List some of the things you know would make your spouse happy. Be specific. For example, hugging your husband when he comes home from work after a hard day, or helping your wife with the laundry. Show you care! Inject consideration back into your relationship.
· Seeing your partner through God’s eyes. Trying to love others like God loves you is a good rule for all your relationships, not just marriage. And if you do not love yourself, start by remembering what God says about you: that you are blessed…loved…valued…and wonderfully made.
4. Nothing can fix our relationship. A woman asked her girlfriend, “How come you are wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” She replied, “Because I married the wrong man!” Sound familiar? The biggest mistake you can make is calling it quits because you think you married the wrong person, and that nothing short of a miracle can save your marriage.
The Good News today is, God is still in the miracle business! With Him “nothing is impossible” Luke 1:37. It is when problems seem insurmountable that God comes through for you. Jeremiah said, “Lord, you…made the heavens and the earth by your great power…Nothing is too hard for you” Jeremiah 32:17. The trouble is too many of us live in the realm of the probable, thinking things probably will not get better…that we will probably always have money issues…or we will probably get divorced. Instead, we should be living in the realm of the possible. Paul says, “Faith…is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen…the evidence of things we cannot yet see” Hebrews 11:1. The Bible says God’s plans for you “are for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope” Jeremiah 29:11. If you are feeling discouraged about your relationship, try praying, and fixing your thoughts on what God can do. The Bible says when you look earnestly for Him you will find Him (see Chronicles 15:2). He is not some distant deity who is far removed from the challenges of your everyday life. No, He wants to have an intimate relationship with you; to use His power to transform your marriage into something lasting and wonderful.